I woke up yesterday morning grumbling about the fact that I had to get out in the snow to go to work. I again let thoughts of how I wouldn't have to do this if my husband didn't have to pay child support. Why do I have to pay for my husbands past mistakes I wasn't there? I felt sorry for myself for a few hours wondering where I was going to find the time after work to get my homework done and take care of my children. I again asked why me. It dawned on me that Christ did what I am doing on a much much larger scale! He was not there the first time I decided to try a little marijuana wait He was there. He didn't make me try it yeah that's better wording. You know when I think of how much I resent the fact that I have to work so hard to pay for the mistakes my spouse made I need to remind myself that Jesus paid a much higher price to pay for my mistakes. Trust me when I say that my mistakes were BIG!
I am a product of a unfortunate past. I know that God was there with me every step of the way otherwise I wouldn't be here now. When I look at my oldest son Dakota I don't see the mistake I made not being married when I got pregnant. How can I then expect my husband to look at his oldest son as a mistake? The road I am on is not an easy one and God shows me everyday his grace I only hope that as I learn these lessons I grow into the woman God sees under all my "stuff".
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