I am seriously losing it! Things are moving so quickly now I almost feel like I am on the Himalaya. Remember the ride at Bells sorry any of you not from Oklahoma. It was a ride that would play really loud music and go in a circle faster and faster. My dad is leaving Washington today at 4 pm. He will be here by this weekend. I am so excited to see him and my brother and sisters but am also scared.
There have been a few times this past week that I have thought I hitched a ride on the crazy train and there is no way off. I have been wanting this day for 25 years! I am trying to figure out what I want from here. Getting to know my dad over the last week has been amazing! But here is where it gets real. Is he going to be disappointed? Are we going to have anything to talk about? The biggest thing I am worried about is physical contact.
With the abuse I suffered as a child I have issues with being touched. I know he is going to want to hug me but what if I panic? Will he be mad if I don't hug back? I did tell him in advance that this is something I have an issue with so at least he is prepared. I am trying to keep myself calm but it isn't working.
I have lost at least 10 pounds since Wednesday I am having trouble eating and sleeping. I am going to have to get myself under control or else I will be to sick to enjoy our visit this week. I will update as he gets closer please keep me in your prayers.
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