Today was so amazing! My dad went to church with me and we had a great time. I am still slowly working through all the emotions that come with him being here. My church held a concert and night of testimony the two men who spoke were truly amazing. About half way through hearing one of the speakers stories I just broke down. I was crying and my dad was sitting next to me and he just wrapped his arms around me and held me.

After listening to these men speak my dad and I spoke to the leader of the group. These men had touched both of us so much yet they were so excited to hear our story. exactly 2 weeks ago today dad and I found each other. I don't know why God chooses his timing but I know that it is perfect.

I was very angry and bitter before I started attending celebrate recovery. I think I may have had a different attitude towards my dad had he entered my life at any other time. I am working through the 12 steps at CR and I am currently on the forgiveness step. I was making the list of who to ask forgiveness of and who to offer my forgiveness to. It was then that God decided to make it known loud and clear where to start. After 25 years I found my dad. We talked daily after finding each other and began to develop the beginnings of a bond. exactly one week after finding each other my dad came to visit. We are working through all the things him being back brings.

I am so grateful to have been given the chance to get to know him. God had filled the roll of father to the fatherless so completely and now he has given me the chance to meet my earthly father. There are so many emotions that I have been sorting through with this. I feel like I am on a huge roller coaster and sometimes I just want off. Most if the time I am so relieved to be getting this chance.

There are still times where I am angry. I don't know if my life would have been better or worse if my dad would have been here. I choose daily to forgive my father for not being here to protect e from my abuser. Forgiveness is a choice we make. We are not like God and throw our transgressions as far as the east is from the west. So everytime the anger rears its head I stop and choose to forgive rather than focus on my anger. I know now that had I not lived through the nightmare I would not be the woman I am today.