I know it has been a while since I have been here but I have the bloging urge today. Those of you who have read my previous blogs know my history, but for those who don't here is a brief synopsis. My father left when I was very young. When I was 6 my mom met and married a man. He started out great then things went bad. There was abuse I was put into state custody. In the midst of all this I began drinking doing drugs and making myself throw up. My mom divorced and married again this time to a great guy. Ok so thats the short version if you want more read my other blogs. I have always longed for a father three days ago I got that wish.
My Aunt Becky was on facebook and looked up my dads name and found him. She passed the info on and I started talking to him on facebook. Over the past three days I have talked to my dad combined online and on the phone for over 13 hours. Today we had a breakthrough. The things I dealt with in the past caused me to build barriers around my heart. My dad broke them down with three words well actually six. Please forgive me I love you.
I always wanted two things to hear my dad say I love you and to be held by him. Well I am halfway there. Those words let 25 years of held in tears out and began the healing of a sad little girl. I know that this is going to be a long road and it is not going to be easy to trust but it is begining. I am sitting here at 5 am because I am too happy to sleep. I have never been too happy to sleep only too scared.
I would love to tell all of you that the endings are all going to be happy but I can't. I do not know how this is going to turn out but I do know that I am going to embrace it every step of the way. I will however promise to keep you all updated so you can send your prayers our way. There will be so much to share with you starting with I have more brothers and sisters!!!!! I know I know I am goin to have a hard time keeping up. I have made a start and cant wait to share more. I hope you all have a wonderfull and blessed week.