Emotions

I promise I would be a better updater and I intend to keep that promise. Wednesday started out like any other day I got home from church and called my mom when my whole world changed. You all know thats the day I got my dads info so I will skip over that part. I sat there for so long looking at the dry erase calender on the wall in my kitchen where I wrote the phone numbers and email addresses. I felt so confused I had waited so long for this moment but I was also a little mad.

At the worst point of the physical abuse I just wanted my daddy to come and make it all better. Now I find him when I didnt think I really needed him. I thought this is so unfair. I needed him then not now. The first few conversations were great but we managed to keep away from conversation that was too deep. I found it easier and easier to open up and share my feelings with him. I am still a bundle of crazy emotions but I am sorting through them.

I am not the scared little girl anymore but I do need my dad. In these 4 days we have laughed and cried together. We have learned about each other and we have started to knit the broken pieces back together. I dont know how long I will have the fear that he is going to leave again but I know that everyday I will think that less. I am excited and scared when I think about my other siblings I am worried about what they are feeling. This is not going to be easy on anyone involved but I want to leave the least amount of damage in the wake. I will post again soon Have a great day